Tuesday, June 5, 2012

On Vacation

I'm  in Jamaica this week with my daughter Erica. I'm trying to rest and take it easy.  One thing I'm trying finding is that the hardest thing to do for me is let go.  When I do, I am so blessed. But the letting go is hard.  You know, so many people do not understand my not searching for Brenna .  They think I am uncaring because I am waiting on God.  And they want to suggest ways to find her, ways to bring her back.  They even yell at me and tell me horrible things that could happen to my beautiful little girl, as if I haven't thought of them already.

What they don't understand is that God is in control, and I'm not.  That if I went and got Brenna from where she is, she would just run off again.  That Brenna is addicted, and will lie and steal and hurt other people to manipulate the situation until she gets what she wants. 

So, once more, we come back to letting go.  I have to trust God to do that for me too.  I can't  do that without His help either. Without Him, I can do nothing. Not even rest...

I praise You, because You are my perfect rest. You have it all under control.  I know that when You change hearts, they will be truly changed.  Show Your truth to those who are looking for it.  Reveal Yourself.  In Jesus's name, Amen


Leslie said...

Tammy, I don't know. I don't have any answers except that we are all on a journey and in different spots. I think its pretty freaking amazing that you have grace with opinionated people. Sometimes what we are living out is what God is asking someone else to be in obedient in and so then they are more emotional or crazy about it towards us...God is working in their hearts through your situation...You are handling all this with grace and beauty...I am continuing to pray for you...My oldest son did not run away, but he quit living his life 4 years ago. I feel societies judgement on me as a mother also. And it hurts deeply where there is already so much hurt loss and grief. Years are lost that I can't get back with my son...but what are my options...sit and corner and "spin"...no I choose to be more like you and LIVE my life with the Hope that chasing my child with God's love is going to be the lasting difference in change in his life...xoxo...keepin it real sister!

Anonymous said...

Hope all is well with you and your daughter at this point