My biggest struggle lately is letting go. I'm afraid. It is so hard for me to give Brenna to God. Here are the things that go over and over in my mind:
1. I've already lost a child! Why is this happening to me?
2. She was such a strong little girl while her brother was sick. Her faith was strong. What happened?
3. Could I have done something different? Did I cause this because I didn't see it coming?
4. If I pray hard enough and long enough, surely she will come back. I know Jesus wants her back.
So, I know that those things are not all true, and that I am listening to what Satan wants me to believe. I know that she has a will of her own, and she can make these horrible decisions. I know that only God can fix this, and I just need to do what He tells me to do. So, God, help me let go, and help me do only and exactly what You want me to do. And help me rest in You. Because, it comes down to this--I'm messing it up. I am spending my life going over and over things in my head that I have absolutely no control over. Help me let go.
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