My dearest Lord and Savior,
Oh, the feelings that are rolling around in my heart today - first God, I want to say that I know that You are a wise and merciful God, and that You took my son for a reason, and that He is with You right now. I know that it has been six years, but the hurt is still fresh at times, and it is more difficult this year because Brenna is not here.I know You know my heart, and how I feel this morning. I also know it says in the word that you were tempted and tested in everything as we are. Father God, is the hurt ever fresh to You? I know You have lost a son as I have, and that You have felt deep sorrow for the loss of Your Son. But, Your Son is with You now, and mine is not. PJ is with You. And now, my daughter is not with me. She's not with You either, although I know You know where she is and how she is. You have told me she will come back to You, and I pray for her several times a day, but she is not where she is supposed to be. At least PJ IS where he is supposed to be.
I guess You have been through this billions of times, literally. How many of Your children have walked away, and then been eternally separated from You? Is what I feel about Brenna close to what You feel about each of those children?
As I write this, tears are streaming down my face. Please, my beloved Father in heaven, bring her back. My pain is beyond measure. The hurt from losing Brenna is more difficult to bear than the hurt of losing PJ. At least PJ is safe and whole in the Father's arms. It has been almost a year since she went away. Please, You are God above all! Bring circumstances into her life that will bring her home to You.
You are Lord of all creation, and I thank You and praise You for all You do, even if I don't understand.